[GUEST POST BY REBECCA TEMSEN FROM selfdevelopmentsecrets.com]

About Self Development SecretsOur motivation, goals and reasons behind this website
Self development, personal development, personal growth or anything you like to call it is a process in which people take a conscious effort towards improving their lifestyle. And whether you want to improve your finances, relationships, confidence, or just enjoy the journey, you can surely find what you need right here to get you on the path towards your goals. If you’re willing to commit to your own success then you’ve come to the right place, make a decision to change now!



1. Take a Step Back From Your Problem

Problems in bed, unhappy husband siting beside his wifeOne of the best ways to regain a positive view of life is to take a break from whatever it is that has allowed negativity to take over your daily thoughts.

Regardless of what type of problem you are experiencing, reacting to adverse circumstances usually compounds the problem, rather than making it better.

However, most people are naturally programmed to respond to adverse conditions with a bad mental attitude, such as saying “I can’t believe this happened to me.”

It ‘s hard not to feel this way if you are concentrating on the problem.

For this reason, if it seems like life has turned against you, just step away from the problem and try to look at it objectively instead of from an emotional standpoint.

This will allow you to get your mind back to a better place. It will also give you a chance to consciously choose the attitude you will embrace, rather than merely react.


Woman Thinking Of Positive Ideas, Plans And DreamsWhen time and money allow, consider taking a mini vacation or weekend getaway.

If this is out of the question, you could easily try other things.

Spend time with family or friends, or even go to the movies or an Internet café and strike up a conversation with a stranger.

Research shows that people who socialise even when they do not feel like it often finds themselves in a better frame of mind.

Sometimes even calling a friend or family member on the phone and asking them about their day or offering advice about a problem someone else is having can get you feeling like you are back in control.

Never let the fear of failure take over you!

2. Focus on Your Goals

Goals On Dartboard Showing Future Plans And WishesWhen life throws you a curve ball, it is easy to lose sight–at least temporarily–of your goals.

If you find yourself depressed or discouraged about circumstances, sit down and focus once again on the overall goals you have for your life.

This is what race car drivers do regardless of what is happening on the track with their competitors.

They can’t take their eyes off the road.

If they focus with tunnel vision of what it is they want, such as winning the race, they tend to do much better.

Real life is quite similar, so if you find yourself in a pessimistic frame of mind because of circumstances, close your eyes and picture your goals and refuse to let them slip away.

Here’s a great post on how to set personal goals!

3. Think About the Solution, Not the Problem

There is an old saying about the squeaky wheel getting the grease, and it is very true.

Unfortunate circumstances rarely just sit there quietly.

Instead, they typically demand our attention until our positive attitude has been stolen away.

Dwelling on them only makes this worse and talking about negative situations only makes them appear bigger and scarier in our mind’s eye.


Sign showing two directions. One leading to problems and one leading to solutionsIf you are facing a major problem, try talking about potential solutions instead of the problem itself.

Do not have staff meetings or family meetings about the current negative issues and how major they are; instead, have meetings about how you plan to implement solutions.

Do not let team members or yourself continuously complain.

Instead, motivate and bring your peers up!

Rather, put an emphasis on the positive results that we can achieve by brainstorming about how to solve the problem.

As you go along, write some of the potential solutions down on paper so that you can monitor your progress.

4. Seek Encouragement From Positive People

Successful business peopleYour thoughts will always build on themselves.

Therefore, it can be a slippery slope if you begin to worry.

Positive ideas can get your mind back on track, and a great place to get positive ideas is from optimistic people.

When circumstances have made you feel defeated, meet with a friend or family member you know will encourage you.

If this is not possible, even picking up a good self-help book and reading tips on how to prevail in negative circumstances will get your mind thinking in a better direction.

5. Count Your Blessings

Portrait of beautiful female teenager praying isolated on a white background. Looking upSpending time dwelling on a problem never helps.

However, even if you are lost about how to solve your problem, you likely have other good things in your career or life in general on which you can focus.

This can bring a sense of peace and help get your mind into a calmer state while you work on how to solve the negative issues in your life.

This also allows a positive attitude to develop from the inside rather than the outside, which makes all the difference in the world concerning your long-term goals.

6. Time Marches On

Almost every bad circumstance eventually passes, and life gets back to normal.

Reminding yourself that time goes on is often helpful if you are faced with an adverse situation.

This applies in particular if you have lost a job or experienced a break-up or divorce.

Time will eventually heal your broken heart, and you will certainly find another job, and maybe even like it better than the one you lost.

Life often comprises of mountains and valleys and telling yourself that your time in the valley is not permanent can go a long way toward helping you get back to a positive attitude.

7. Strengthen Your Mind

Cartoon of a woman practising yoga to strengthen her mind Anything you can do to enhance your thoughts will help you immensely when you are faced with stressful situations.

If possible, give yourself at least one hour a day to nurture your spirit, body, and mind.

You can accomplish this in a variety of ways, such as meditating, reading inspirational books or articles, or even attending a yoga class.

To ensure you are shaping your viewpoints rather than allowing negative thoughts to shape them for you, you must actively participate in strengthening your mind.

This will also lead to a positive attitude and make it easier to deal with your problem.

 8. Focus on Personal Growth

Enrolling in courses or seeking to improve yourself through diet and exercise are activities that ensure you are always expanding, which in turn leads to a higher level of self-confidence.

This is an excellent way to offset negative circumstances in your life. It will give you a sense of accomplishment and success.

It is also important to root your self-confidence in who you are as a person, rather than in outside factors, such as your level of success in business.

To make the most of personal growth, find additional ways to connect with yourself.

Do things like volunteer work, joining a local organisation, or whatever it takes to recognise your value regardless of how you are doing professionally.

Tai Lopez, a businessman and investor, has 67 actionable steps that will help you get what you want in life. You will have to pay for the steps, but if you’re committed, it could be worth your time and money. See it here

9. Keep a Positive Attitude at all Times

Positive Attitude Note Showing Optimism Or BeliefTry your best not to define yourself by the environment around you.

It is often hard to keep a positive attitude if you are continuously in a negative atmosphere.

Click here to read our take on how powerful a positive attitude is to us.

For instance, if you are concerned about being downsized out of your job, remind yourself that your employment status does not define who you are as a person.


If you feel that your life is not going well because your boss or a coworker constantly puts you down, remember that it is typically insecure people who pick on others.

Their actions do not reflect on you, but rather these actions are merely a symptom of their negative attitude.

Lifehack has a cool article on maintaining a positive attitude. See it here.


Virtually everyone goes through circumstances that they feel will never change.

There is an old saying that says “winter doesn’t last forever, even if you don’t do very much.”

In other words, even if you do not have the answer to your problem at the moment.

Eventually something will happen to turn the tide.

Even if there is nothing, you can do directly to change things.

Therefore, remember that whatever it is that is dragging you down is only temporary, as difficult as it may seem at the time.

Take a deep breath and follow the steps outlined above and embrace them regardless of how challenging your situation is at the moment.

In this way, you will feel more equipped to cope with whatever life throws your way.

Never let bad circumstances define you.

Keep your positive attitude alive, and well.

You will eventually get your life back to normal, and you will feel like yourself again.

If you’re feeling more positive and would like to start manifesting what you want, check out our review post on how destiny tuning can really help you.

How will you use these tips to get a better perspective on life? Use the comments section below and let us know!


You can embed a deep culture of gratitude into your school here.

You can also embed a deep culture of gratitude into your family home here 
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